Today, someone sent me the list of bumper stickers below, which includes some I haven't seen before.

There ought to be several in here that will offend you, regardless of your personal views!

Hopefully, all of us can overlook the ones that offend and laugh at theothers...(or overlook the ones that are humorous and be offended at the others)

The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.

If you smoke after sex, your doing it too fast.

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.

Good girls get fat, bad girls get eaten.

We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be


Jesus is coming, everyone look busy.

Born free... taxed to death.

The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.

Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

There's too much blood in my alcohol system.

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.

WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.

You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.

I got a gun for my wife, best trade I ever made.

So you're a feminist...Isn't that cute!

Jesus may love you, but he won't respect you in the morning.

I need someone really bad... are you really bad?

If, a two letter word for futility

I don't care, I don't have to.

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

To all you virgins, thanks for nothing.

I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.

Horn broken, watch for finger.

All men are idiots ... I married their king.

The more you complain, the longer God lets you live.

My kid had sex with your honor student.

Earth first...we'll mine the other planets later.

Give pizza chants.

Don't hit me. My lawyer's in jail.

This isn't burger king, you can't have it your way.

How can I be overdrawn, I still have checks!

If something goes without saying, LET IT!

If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.

Help wanted telepathy: you know where to apply

IRS We've got what it takes to take what you've got.

Hard work has a future payoff, laziness pays off now.

Jesus loves you... everyone else thinks your an asshole.

Life's a buffet... so eat me!

I'm just driving this way to piss you off.

Jesus paid for our sins... now lets get our money's worth.

Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

Keep honking, I'm reloading.

Prevent inbreeding: ban country music.

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

Hang up and drive.

Happiness is a belt-fed weapon

Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.

Snatch a kiss, or vice versa.

I don't have to be dead to donate my organ.

WARNING! Driver only carries $20.00 in ammunition

Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep

I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather ... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

Tow-ers will be violated

Montana -- At least our cows are sane!

Jesus died for my sins and all I got was this lousy T-shirt.

Lord save me from your followers.

Meat is yummy

Mean people rule

Guns don't kill people, postal workers do.

Born again pagan

God must love stupid people, he made so many.

I said "no" to drugs, but they just wouldn't listen

The gene pool could use a little chlorine

When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS.

Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.

Friends don't let Friends drive Naked

Wink, I'll do the rest!

Rainy days and automatic weapons always get me down.

I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

When there's a will, I want to be in it!

Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?

If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made ofmeat?

Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!

It's lonely at the top, but you eat better. Reality? That's where the pizza delivery guy comes from!

Forget about World Peace, visualize using your turn signal

hoket on foniks werked fur me

Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.

3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.

I like you, but I wouldn't want to see you working with subatomic particles.

I killed a 6-pack just to watch it die.

Sex on television can't hurt you unless you fall off.

The only time my wife stops talking is when HER MOTHER starts talking.